Love & Monsters

I hadn't watched Love & Monsters since its first transmission and the reason is, I think, that I didn't want to have to make up my mind what I thought about it. I know better now, but back when it first aired, I was in the habit of lurking in the online forums; there was an immediate and lasting reaction, an extraordinary division of opinion. The fans either loved or hated it. If only because having an opinion would require me to pick a side, I ran away.

But we've watched it now, all three of us, and I'm still not sure what I think. The boys were absolutely certain. Once it finished, they slumped on the sofa with some dejection, as if I had rather wasted their time.

"The Doctor didn't do anything!" said William. (His only comment during the episode was when the TARDIS arrived to save Elton: "Oh finally!")

"You have to have the Doctor in Doctor Who," he carried on. "That's the point. The baddy only showed up for a short amount of time as well. It's weird this one. A lot of it just doesn't make sense."

Chris agreed. "The baddy wasn't scary, but he was good because he had a good disguise. He wasn't fat like a Slitheen. But I didn't like how the Doctor wasn't in it much."

What about Elton, I asked. Did they boys like him?

"I liked him a bit," said William begrudgingly. "But he's not the Doctor, is he!"

Given their strong reaction, I thought I should explain what had happened. I told them how this episode had been written to work without the Doctor and Rose so they could make another episode at the same time. I told them how it had needed to include the Abzorbaloff, the winning entry in a Blue Peter 'Design A Doctor Who Monster' competition. I also mentioned how some episodes just needed to be cheap. Once we'd gone through all that I asked them if they thought the writer had done the best he could to accommodate all those requirements.

"I suppose so," said Will. "I can respect that. I'll give it a six. No, wait. Five."

And the look that came with it suggested that Love & Monsters should consider itself lucky. Chris seemed far less perturbed and gave it a 7.

There are certainly some good things about this experimental episode. The idea of a story about how people are affected by the Doctor is a great one, and does necessarily suggest that the Doctor might not be around in order for us to see what his effect is. Marc Warren is very good as Elton, vulnerable and engaging, and some of the LINDA moments are sweet. But too often we get moments of pure filler, like the montage of Elton dancing around his bedroom. His emotional journey was highly effective the first time I saw this, but watching it again it felt forced and unconvincing: there's really nothing to his story. Peter Kay is pretty dreadful, both as the bland Victor Kennedy and the grotesque Abzorbaloff. There's no menace or chill to either of these characters and very little to explain what he's up to. If he can't track down the Doctor, how has he found LINDA or hacked Torchwood?

Having said all that, I still can't bring myself to hate Love & Monsters. There's nothing wrong with experimenting, and over many series there is plenty of time to give up to see how the Doctor's absence can be as powerful as his presence. The best thing about this episode is Jackie's brush with Elton and it seems that there was a missed opportunity. This could have been a Jackie-centric story - a chance for us to see even more of what life was like for her at home by herself, after the TARDIS has dematerialised. If she had somehow had an adventure, or become entangled with a support group like LINDA, I think that would have been a lot of fun.

I still don't know what to think really - but I am sure that this isn't the classic episode some believe it to be.


NEXT TIME...